All support groups and informational sessions are held at A Full Circle Adoptions, 39 Main Street, Northampton(see bottom of this page for a map) unless otherwise noted. Please feel free to call us at (413)587-0007 with any questions.
We rejoice with all our families on the good health of your children and the love that you will share in the years to come. The birthparents with whom we have had the honor of working so far this year have been extraordinary men and women. They have made their adoption plans in many states including: Pennsylvania, California, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Idaho, Iowa, Arkansas, Wisconsin and Nevada. We continue to be impressed by the devotion and support many birthfathers have given to birthmothers during a time that is both physically and spiritually challenging. Many of our birthparents have shown a lot of trust and openness to the adoptive parents and have created warm relationships with them.
The Birthparent Support Group is scheduled to meet every Thursday at 6 PM in the new Birthparents' Center, 39 Main Street, 3rd floor, Northampton.
Full Circle clinicians have many years of experience in adoption. Our clinicians provide counseling and assistance to birthparents during their decision-making process and assist prospective adoptive parents with consultations, homestudies and support during the adoptive process. This column will serve to introduce you to the clinicians who help Full Circle families.
Megan Richardson, MSW, is a recent graduate of New York University's School of Social Work. Megan has worked in the areas of mental health, foster care & adoption, preventive services and specialized treatment of abused/neglected children. Megan is providing support and assistance to birthparents in the agency's new Birthparents Center, as well as providing assistance and support to adoptive families. Please join us in welcoming her.
Stacey Mondoux holds a BA in Biology from Merrimack College in North Andover. Stacey has also served as a volunteer in the Peace Corps. She served in Gabon, Central Africa in the Community Health Program assisting in the promotion of preventive healthcare in a rural setting. Stacey joined Full Circle in January 2000 as an administrative assistant. Meredith Davies holds a B.A. in Greek and Latin from Mount Holyoke College, and a J.D. from Vermont Law School, where she completed a general practice program of study. As the Adoption Case Manager at Full Circle, Meredith assists with the legal aspects of the adoption process, and provides administrative support. Meredith has been with Full Circle since November, 1999.
Birthfathers Care Birthfathers care. But the adoption "process" has often been handled as though birthfathers don't or shouldn't care. Perhaps more commonly years ago, adoption professionals would write to the birthfather explaining that he'd been identified as the father of a child and the letter would state that, unless contacted, the professional would seek to terminate his rights in court. Many men naturally felt concerned about facing child support obligations they couldn't afford or being shamed in the process of consulting with professionals about the child's well being. If young, they might worry about their parents learning of the situation. When approached in the above way, the birthfather might not respond at all or might call and angrily deny paternity or say they oppose adoption (but then not take steps to parent the child). We have found that a warm approach to birthfathers, offering them the same free services as birthmothers are offered, helps to welcome them into the circle of planning for their child whether their decision is to pursue parenting or support an adoption plan. Birthfathers are often men in their late teens or twenties who care a lot about the expected child. They may not feel ready to parent, but it's hard to sort that out when they are anxious, embarrassed or confused. We reassure men that talking with us is not an admission of paternity. We have nothing to do with child support orders or enforcement of them. The birthfather's communications with us are confidential. Birthfathers often can't afford an attorney and so we explain that we can, with prior permission, pay for independent legal counsel. Birthmothers often wish to leave the birthfather out of the adoption planning process. Some women want to be the sole decision-makers for their child. They may fear that the birthfather will want to parent and may have a negative opinion about the birthfather's abilities to parent. There may have been a conflicted relationship between them and the birthmother may fear that he will try to interfere with her wish to make an adoption plan as a way of opposing her. Women are earnestly making the best plan they can for their child. Birthfathers often relate very differently to adoption professionals. They are usually moved to know that a child is involved. They often cooperate with planning much to everyone's surprise. We've also noticed another pattern. When approached with compassion, many men have disclosed that they have had male figures (fathers, stepfathers) who they felt had abandoned them in their early lives. They need time to separate out whether cooperating with an adoption plan is repeating the pattern of abandonment or healing the pattern, by giving the child secure parents from the start. We've greatly respected the deliberations men and women have undertaken to make their decision; some engage in counseling, others go off for long walks alone. Whatever their "process" they often care deeply and are trying to make a noble decision - to assume the responsibilities of parenting and/or support of a child or to make a good plan for the child with adoptive parents. We ask fathers to consider participating in a "buccal swab" paternity test (no longer needing a blood test, this test involves a large Q-tip type swabbing at the inside of the mouth); it is paid for by the agency. I remember one case where an attorney reassured me that the child was that of the identified father. "All his other children look just like this baby." I said thank you and asked for the paternity test. When the test came back, we learned that the child had a different father. This can be critical to a man's enduring sense of himself - as a father or not as a father. This can also have important implications for the child - the agency has had several cases in which knowledge of the father's medical history was potentially lifesaving for the child: in one case, allergy to penicillin in five generations, another where the father had an allergy to shellfish that caused his throat to close. In another situation, there was a particular seizure disorder that ran in the father's family (and in the child) and knowledge of this helped the family and doctors anticipate the course of the disorder and guide treatment. This was important information for the parents to have. We inform birthfathers of our full services which include: a birthparent buddy network (where he can talk with other birthfathers), a free, weekly support group (which we encourage men to attend as well) and free neutral options counseling. Birthmothers who are courageous in letting us include the birthfather find that this step adds to the legal and medical security of the adoption plan they're working so hard to archive. ------------ Legal Update ------------ Even as we strengthen the circle to more warmly welcome birthfathers into the planning process, a number of states have passed laws alleviating professionals from the responsibility to notify birthfathers of a pregnancy and adoption plan. Minnesota, New Jersey, Oregon and Idaho have such laws. The birthfather is presumed to know that a pregnancy may have resulted from the mere knowledge of his intimate involvement with the birthmother. The problem with this theory is that birthfathers seldom know about this law. Also, it doesn't sufficiently address those cases where a father has been told that the birthmother is on nearly foolproof birth control, where she believes she is infertile, or where she has otherwise steered him from the path (told him she's had an abortion or miscarriage). While eliminating the need to notify birthfathers may seem to serve the child's (short term) best interests (to have a loving placement and avoid foster care), it may be shortsighted. What will the adoptive parents say when the child, as an adolescent, asks: "what did my birthfather think of the adoption plan?" How will the parent-child relationship fare when the parents answer: "He didn't even know you were born. You were born in a state where the birthfather didn't have to be notified." This may be an unintended recipe for a quick and easy placement and perhaps a conflicted period of young adult identity formation. Are the child's long-range interests truly being served? And do the adoptive parents have a secure basis to feel healthfully entitled to be mom and dad when they know the birthfather was never informed? While the law may not require such notice, we recommend that all our clients go beyond what the law allows, to do more than what is required, in honor of the birthfathers who care and in the service of the child's long term best interests. We have found that this provides benefits to the adoptive family and child - the involvement of the birthfather means more complete medical history, the gratitude of the birthfather toward the adoptive family, a shorter legal risk period (because both parents will have signed) and a healthier sense of the placement's sound foundation.
New Ideas for Contributing to the Agency Alan and Sue Fowler have our heartfelt thanks for giving a special gift to the agency and letting us share information about their good idea. If you are fortunate to have stocks, you can give a gift of appreciated stock to the agency. This is what Alan and Sue did. In this way you, the donor, may be able take a deduction for a charitable contribution and you may be able to appropriately avoid capital gains. As each family's situation may be different, please consult your tax advisor for more information. As if this wasn't enough, Sue's employer, Fidelity Investments (Thank You Fidelity!) will match this gift as well. Thank you both for the gift and allowing us to share your good idea with others should they wish to follow in your footsteps. If you would like to contribute to The Adoption
Assistance Fund call the Full Circle Adoptions office at (413)587-0007.
The
agency completed 34 adoptions last year. We are welcoming new families
into the program and there is no waiting We estimate that adoptive families who do not already have children tend to become matched with birthfamilies within 6-18 months of their dear birthmother letter being circulated; for families with one or more children, the time frame may be 9-18 months. The connection often occurs sooner, but we prefer to estimate conservatively and have you be happy when things go more quickly. We look forward to helping you fulfill your dreams.
Child sizes: S, M, L - $10 Please include $3 for postage and handling and indicate size and color.. Send to: Full Circle Adoptions, 38 Main Street, Northampton, MA 01060
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Note: Â We are happy to send you a hard copy of the newsletter at your request. Expectant Parent Request for Services - Adoptive Families You Can Choose - EP Testimonials - EP FAQ - Expectant Parent Center This site Copyright 2007 by Marla Allisan JD, LICSW. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or pictorial content in any manner is strictly prohibited without express written permission from Full Circle Adoptions.. To request permission for reuse please send us an e-mail. |
Full
Circle is delighted to announce the opening of THE
BIRTHPARENTS CENTER, a separate space in our office building
with a separate entrance/exit and facilities. We are now offering
a weekly birthparent support group in addition to our previously offered
services (free individual counseling, liaison for assistance with
housing, food, clothing). Many adoption programs focus on pre-birth
counseling of birthparents. We hope, with the opening of The Birthparents
Center, to honor birthparents' needs for support, reflection and learning
beyond the time of the placement decision as well as during the pregnancy.
We welcome the involvement of women and men who are considering making
an adoption plan for their child as well as parents who have made
their plans in the past, whether through Full Circle or other agencies
as well. Please let us know if we can help you! 
Birthparent
Support Group
Congratulations
to Pat and Chuck on the arrival of Brigid Roisin; Shigeru and Reiko
on the arrival of Hikaru ("Light"); Sheri and Steve on the
arrival of Emily Kaitlyn; and Kim and John on the arrival of Natalie
Ann. Congratulations to Glenda and John on the arrival of Jacob Ethan;
Allan and Susan on the arrival of Keenan Robert; Frank and Debbie
on the arrival of Cameron Allen; Luc and Laurie on the arrival of
Robert Blake; and Beth 
and
Jay on the arrival of Kendra Grace. Congratulations to Tammy and Lee
on the arrival of twins, Blaze and Baylee (from Slovakia); to Val
and Brian on the arrival of Harrison Connor; to Barbara and Bob on
the arrival of Jonathan; Todd and Karen on the arrival of Taylor;
Laurie and Phil on the arrival on Monique Bailey; Diane and Billy
on the 
Thank
you to families and individuals who have contributed to this fund.
We are hoping to create a fund which will have sufficient
resources to provide revolving loans and outright grants for adoption
expenses for families of modest means. Thank you for considering
this. Please remember that any contributions are deductible
as charitable contributions!
list
for homestudies. Over half our clients are from the Boston area and
our social workers (who live throughout the state) come to you for
the homestudy process. Approximately 73% of our placements have involved
both birthmother and birthfather participating in providing health
history and adoption planning. This means greater legal security for
adoptive families, and a greater sense of confidence in the plan for
both birth and adoptive families. In over 60% of our cases, 
Our
100% cotton T-shirts are available in 4 vibrant colors:
bright blue, yellow, bright pink and lavender. Net proceeds
will be directed to the adoption assistance fund. Please be
sure to state size with order.